What has William Shatner done for me lately? Well, appeared in my dream last night, for one thing. I rarely dream about William Shatner, despite what my blog title may imply. In the dream, by some sketchy, accidental occurance, William Shatner and I were to appear together in a stand-up comedy routine at a small nightclub. I was supposed to write our material. Shatner and I had known about the gig for several months but hadn't contacted each other. My "script" consisted only of a vague notion that we would do a short, improvised scene involving a Magic 8 Ball. You know, that wonderful decision-making tool with all the answers, like, "You May Rely on it," and "My Sources Say No," that NEVER EVER LIES, so you must be careful what you ask.
Suddenly, gig night was upon us, and I met William in the backstage dressing room area. We didn't know each other (as in real life) and his tone toward me was distant and superior. However, that tone was a bit confused by the fact that he was wearing a DRESS. At first, I thought nothing of it, but as we discussed the sketch, I thought, "Wait a minute. Why is he wearing a colorful, circa-1970s, mu-mu shift?" I didn't dare ask, because he was ROYALLY PISSED OFF about my improv idea. He had wanted a straight-up SCRIPT. "I don't DO improv!!" He forcefully declared with every ounce of Shakesperian indignation he could muster while wearing a mu-mu.
I was crushed! I felt like I do in dreams where I'm about to take an exam for which I didn't study--and on top of that--THE WRATH OF SHATNER. I guess this "dream" was really a "nightmare." I had let him down, and there was nothing worse than that. Yet, the show had to go on, and he was going to go through with it--without me--as a punishment.
He went on stage by himself, having changed into black jeans and a red sweater. Looking sharp. I was glad he had ditched the mu mu. Although he was doing it solo, he did take my my Magic 8-Ball idea plus a translucent trash bag (the trash bag was his idea). Basically, his act consisted of asking profound questions of the universe, while swinging the Magic 8 Ball around at the bottom of the large trash bag, like a mace. When he was done asking and swinging, he would hold the 8 Ball up above his head, stretching the trash bag tightly over it, with the excess bag hanging down like a tail, and read the answer through the bag. Now that I think of it, this is a physical impossibility, since the Magic 8 Ball must be read in the upright position (so that the "answer thingy" can float to the top). But hey, it was a dream, so I cut William Shatner some slack (like his tailor).
What was the meaning of this dream? Did it have any meaning at all? Hey, I know! I'm going to ask the Magic 8 Ball (which I have in real life)!
Magic 8 Ball, did my dream about William Shatner last night have any meaning? "Cannot Predict Now," replies the 8 Ball. I'm not surprised, as this dream was pretty darned HEAVY. I'll give the 8 Ball some time to digest, and ask it again later.
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