By Karen Kay Remus Covey Pasteur Shatner
Copyright 2010
WARNING:
The following habits are WAY GROSS to those who do not practice them. Please read at your own risk, preferably with a barf bag in close reach.
#1
Seldom washing any body part--especially hands
#2
Coughing, sneezing, and/or vomiting* uncovered onto others
#3
Picking nose
#4
Eating it
(and offering uneaten portions to bystanders)
#5
Wiping nose and/or mouth with tissue, then immediately wiping public food preparation counter with SAME TISSUE**
#6
Having unprotected sex with multiple anonymous partners--especially with "that gooey stuff always leaking out of" and/or "those funny looking/itchy things on or in" key parts of sex machine.
#7
Health care or food preparation employee wearing same pair of vinyl or rubber gloves ALL DAY FOR EVERYTHING.
*Just learned that this one is punishable by JAIL--AS SHOULD BE ALL THE REST!
**Actually witnessed this one at a Subway (fast food sandwich chain).
Hey, William Shatner and/or his people: are you getting all of this?! What do you think? Talk to me. Read my older posts too. Don't be shy. Bill, Darling, I know you're not shy.
PS: I love you
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I saw an adult man on my flight to Spain that repeatedly picked his nose and ate it. I stared in wonder the entire flight. It really helped me pass the time. I always find your thoughts insightful, Karen! Love you.
ReplyDeleteK Shat, The last time (not a coincidence) I ate at a local Blimpees, the sandwich guy's gloves were dirty from digging in the cash register. I also once had a McDonald’s drive-thru cashier scratch her armpit hard(!) for about 5 seconds (Oh the humanity!!) before handing me my food. Here's the worst part-- the bag smelled like perfumed BO. It was like she might as well stick her butt through the car window and crap, if that made her feel better too. I don't eat at McDonalds any more either! Jim
ReplyDeleteOMG! I LOVE "...helped me pass the time," "Oh the humanity!!" and, "...she might as well stick her butt..." Thank you, my darling angels! Keep those cards & letters pouring in!
ReplyDelete