Cataclysmic Computer Catastrophe

A One Act Play
by Karen K. Remus
Copyright 2011

[Scene: Best Buy Computer Repair Service Desk]

Best Buy Technician: Mr. Customer, I'm afraid that your computer is so seriously damaged, it might be beyond our capability to fix.

Mr. Customer: What's wrong? A virus?

Best Buy Technician: No. Worse.

Mr. Customer: A Trojan?

Best Buy Technician: No. Worse.

Mr. Customer: A Worm?

Best Buy Technician: No. Worse.

Mr. Customer: What could possibly be worse than those?

Best Buy Technician: A Beagle.

Mr. Customer: [Looking queasy, then projectile vomiting while shitting and pissing his pants, and finally collapsing on the floor. After two minutes of no one doing anything, he recovers, stands up slowly and screams in an incredibly loud voice for someone who has just totally purged from all orifices]
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Fade Out

The End

Thank you for your patience, Dear Reader. I've been away, but now I'm back, and I'm worse than ever. Please read my other new crap and let me know how it stinks.