The Seven Habits of Highly Infective People

By Karen Kay Remus Covey Pasteur Shatner
Copyright 2010

WARNING:
The following habits are WAY GROSS to those who do not practice them. Please read at your own risk, preferably with a barf bag in close reach.

#1
Seldom washing any body part--especially hands

#2
Coughing, sneezing, and/or vomiting* uncovered onto others

#3
Picking nose

#4
Eating it
(and offering uneaten portions to bystanders)

#5
Wiping nose and/or mouth with tissue, then immediately wiping public food preparation counter with SAME TISSUE**

#6
Having unprotected sex with multiple anonymous partners--especially with "that gooey stuff always leaking out of" and/or "those funny looking/itchy things on or in" key parts of sex machine.

#7
Health care or food preparation employee wearing same pair of vinyl or rubber gloves ALL DAY FOR EVERYTHING.

*Just learned that this one is punishable by JAIL--AS SHOULD BE ALL THE REST!

**Actually witnessed this one at a Subway (fast food sandwich chain).

Hey, William Shatner and/or his people: are you getting all of this?! What do you think? Talk to me. Read my older posts too. Don't be shy. Bill, Darling, I know you're not shy.

PS: I love you