Do you remember the TV show, "Sea Hunt?" If so, then you're at least as old as I am. But that's not the point. The point is this: the name of the actor who starred in "Sea Hunt" was Lloyd Bridges (father of Jeff Bridges), but here's the thing... are you ready for the thing?
The thing is that BRIDGES go over water, while Lloyd Bridges went under water.
Did you ever stop to ponder this? If so, Dear Reader, then you have the same problem I do.
Monday, September 27, 2010
Thursday, September 23, 2010
More "Cut to the Chase Greeting Cards!"
By Karen Kay Remus
Copyright 2010
Here's the latest batch, hot off the press! These are the cards that Hallmark missed, and now, you can actually ORDER THEM FROM ME, Dear Readers. Just shoot me an email (on my profile), and we'll work out an offer you can't refuse. Please also see my June 30, 2010 post, containing the "Birthday Card" and "General Greeting" series--also available for purchase.
And now, without further adieu, I present for your pleasure, the ALL NEW selection of "Cut to the Chase Greeting Cards, " for when tact just won't cut it....
The "Friends and Lovers" Series
#1
(Outside of card)
I'm so sorry about our fight
(Inside of card)
but you're still wrong
and I'm still right
#2
(Outside)
Let's make up
(Inside)
...a big LIE, and say we're still friends
#3
(Outside)
I'm sorry about our falling out
(Inside)
But I wouldn't be sorry
about your falling out
of a 20th story window
#4
(Outside)
You are my reason for living
(Inside)
BY MYSELF
#5
(Outside)
Without you, I'm nothing
(Inside)
Nothing but smiles
#6
(Outside)
How much do I love you?
(Inside)
Not one damned bit
#7
(Outside)
Thinking of you
(Inside)
Every time I throw up
#8
(Outside)
Something's in the air
(Inside)
Your stench
#9
(Outside)
Without you, I'm a wreck
(Inside)
With you, I'm an even bigger f*cking wreck
#10
(Outside)
There's something about you
(Inside)
That gives me dry heaves
#11
(Outside)
I cannot begin to express
how much I love you
(Inside)
Because I don't
#12
(Outside)
Roses are red
Violets are blue
(Inside)
And you SUCK
on f*cking hot ice!
Love 'em? Hate 'em? Wanna BUY the whole freaking LOT? At the very least, leave me comments, and tell me your faves! PS: Just so you know, Dear Readers. I truly love you more than even Hallmark could say. xoxoxox ~kkr
Copyright 2010
Here's the latest batch, hot off the press! These are the cards that Hallmark missed, and now, you can actually ORDER THEM FROM ME, Dear Readers. Just shoot me an email (on my profile), and we'll work out an offer you can't refuse. Please also see my June 30, 2010 post, containing the "Birthday Card" and "General Greeting" series--also available for purchase.
And now, without further adieu, I present for your pleasure, the ALL NEW selection of "Cut to the Chase Greeting Cards, " for when tact just won't cut it....
The "Friends and Lovers" Series
#1
(Outside of card)
I'm so sorry about our fight
(Inside of card)
but you're still wrong
and I'm still right
#2
(Outside)
Let's make up
(Inside)
...a big LIE, and say we're still friends
#3
(Outside)
I'm sorry about our falling out
(Inside)
But I wouldn't be sorry
about your falling out
of a 20th story window
#4
(Outside)
You are my reason for living
(Inside)
BY MYSELF
#5
(Outside)
Without you, I'm nothing
(Inside)
Nothing but smiles
#6
(Outside)
How much do I love you?
(Inside)
Not one damned bit
#7
(Outside)
Thinking of you
(Inside)
Every time I throw up
#8
(Outside)
Something's in the air
(Inside)
Your stench
#9
(Outside)
Without you, I'm a wreck
(Inside)
With you, I'm an even bigger f*cking wreck
#10
(Outside)
There's something about you
(Inside)
That gives me dry heaves
#11
(Outside)
I cannot begin to express
how much I love you
(Inside)
Because I don't
#12
(Outside)
Roses are red
Violets are blue
(Inside)
And you SUCK
on f*cking hot ice!
Love 'em? Hate 'em? Wanna BUY the whole freaking LOT? At the very least, leave me comments, and tell me your faves! PS: Just so you know, Dear Readers. I truly love you more than even Hallmark could say. xoxoxox ~kkr
Crime Scene Dictation of the Week
By Karen Kay "Joe Friday" Remus
Copyright 2010
"We found the victim lying in a pool of blood. It was an above the ground pool. I asked him where all the blood had come from. He said he'd cut himself. He had to have been lying."
Copyright 2010
"We found the victim lying in a pool of blood. It was an above the ground pool. I asked him where all the blood had come from. He said he'd cut himself. He had to have been lying."
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
“William Shatner”
A Free Verse Fiasco
by Karen Kay Remus
Copyright 2010
I hate William Shatner
I love William Shatner
I don’t know William Shatner
William Shatner makes me gag
William Shatner makes me cringe
William Shatner fills me with glee
I’m going to call him Bill now
Bill’s been in my head since 1969
Bill on the brain for 41 years
Why is Bill in my head?
Does anyone care?
It doesn’t matter; he’s there to stay
I have a confession to make
I like Leonard Nimoy better (audience gasps)
Leonard Nimoy rocks my casbah
The above verse was a half truth
You decide which half
Len & Bill = apple & orange*
Len & Bill cannot be compared
Me talk like cavewoman now
Want Len & Bill to fight over me
With clubs & bloody fists
The victor dragging me by hair
To love cave
*William of Orange?
by Karen Kay Remus
Copyright 2010
I hate William Shatner
I love William Shatner
I don’t know William Shatner
William Shatner makes me gag
William Shatner makes me cringe
William Shatner fills me with glee
I’m going to call him Bill now
Bill’s been in my head since 1969
Bill on the brain for 41 years
Why is Bill in my head?
Does anyone care?
It doesn’t matter; he’s there to stay
I have a confession to make
I like Leonard Nimoy better (audience gasps)
Leonard Nimoy rocks my casbah
The above verse was a half truth
You decide which half
Len & Bill = apple & orange*
Len & Bill cannot be compared
Me talk like cavewoman now
Want Len & Bill to fight over me
With clubs & bloody fists
The victor dragging me by hair
To love cave
*William of Orange?
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